When You Don't Get That Thing You Really Wanted


What happens to a dream deferred? You have it in your grasp, you can feel it, taste it; it’s sweet…until it’s not. Slowly it slips from your hand as it fades away like a mirage in the distance. Wait, did that just happen? I really wanted that!

Getting close but no cigar is a lot dropping your fresh scoop of ice cream on the hottest day of summer. It sucks and it stings like the angry fire ants swarming your soiled treat. Slowly the seven stages of grief set in.

Denial: Nah, there must be some mistake.

Pain & Guilt: Was it something I did, something I said?

Anger & Bargaining: I just think it’s funny how…

Depression: Why even bother?

Reconstruction: I’m a survivor, I’m not gon give up!

Acceptance & Hope: Get that dirt off my shoulder!

Not getting something you really wanted hurts like hell. It can shake our confidence, cut holes in our esteem, and affirm underlying negative beliefs. It’s a rock and shock of an experience but even though it may feel like it, it’s not the end of the world! No matter how hard of a pill it is to swallow, the truth is if it was meant for you it would’ve been yours. Getting painfully close to something we truly desire is one of life greatest teachers. Though it’s not the most fun experience it mirrors so much of ourselves back to us. Our strengths, our weaknesses, our attitude in times of turmoil; our character. Consider yourself a researcher and look at the experience as data collection, look at what you’ve done objectively and don’t judge your actions. Simply analyze what yielded you the results you wanted and what did not, then adjust accordingly! Remember all your faves have probably taken MASSIVE L’s. They bounced back, in fact they bounced forward and you will too! Though it may feel like life has it out for YOU and you only, understand that we all have our crosses to bear. There is no exception. We must pay our dues and learn hard lessons but the fun part is building from each experience. You must keep building until you see the vision come to fruition. Whatever you do, don’t give up. In low times one of the easiest things is to give up or pull back, but that won’t get you to your end goal. You learn until you win and eventually you will WIN! In the infamous words of Aaliyah, if at first you don’t succeed, dust yourself off and try again.


Dot Com

Malon MurphyComment