Ouch, this hurts!: On Confronting Weaknesses


On my best day I'm a super woman who can squeeze in yoga and morning meditation, knock out a work day out the park, eat a healthy lunch, post a bangin selfie, and show up with a bottle of wine for a friend in need. 

On my worst day I am an anxious mess who lets fires start and spread, wastes embarrassing amounts of time on social media, and hides from my problems behind trivial conversations. Everybody got choices and admittedly sometimes I make the wrong ones. You know what they say though nothing can be changed until it is confronted and though it's painful it's necessary!

I learned a word the other day that help me identify my biggest source of anxiety. Servile. Servile is defined as: having or showing an excessive willingness to serve or please others. It's also defined as: of or characteristic of a slave or slaves, and that's exactly what obsessive people-pleasing feels like: slavery. You're a slave to your own self-imposed prison. You don't do what you need or want to do in an effort to appease others and you end up unsatisfied, unhappy, and spent.

If people-pleasing is so miserable why do it? Well, the alternative is to speak up, to stand strong in your decisions, and to say how you feel even when it's uncomfortable. This comes at the price of not always being liked or received well. But what it also come with is clarity, calm, and peace. It doesn't matter who doesn't like you, because you like yourself. You create the life you actually want, and live it the way you actually want to.

It's not easy to unlearn years of bad habits, it's scary confronting people, places, and things and it's terrifying being honest about your feelings but it's worth it. Even when my palms are sweating and my voice is shaking, I say what I need to say. Transformation is a learning curve. What have you confronted this year?




Malon MurphyComment